Tales from the Emailses

I haven't written on here for ages, and i know, people have missed me. The amount of emails i've had have been phenominal (real amount:zero) but what with my recent obsession with MySpace and not thinking of anything interesting to write about and general not being botheredness, i've really let this place slide.

Anyway, all this preamble is just to post an email i just wrote. I think perhaps that is the future of blogging, the mindless ctrl+c, ctrl+v of emails.

Enjoy:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
(Andy)

I am at work and someone has been messing up my desk and writing on MY post it note pads. That makes me furious like the Hulk. They've been using my special highlighter pens and everything. Bastards. I can tell because you can see the ink level in them and the ink level has gone down in the yellow and green ones compared to the blue and orange ones. They are the only thing that keeps me coming back here week after week and SOMEONE'S BEEN FUCKING WITH THEM!

I cant fucking wait to see Xmen. I love sexy Wolverine. And all superheroes for that matter. Man! I wish I was a superhero. That would rule.

I am somewhat uninterested in being at work, today, tomorrow, and for the forseeable future. What a drain on my mind and soul. If only Paul McKenna, or Derren Brown (obviously, I would prefer Derren, due to his sexy vampire qualities) I wish one of them would hypnotise me into being motivated into getting some kind of job I would like and which I could be creative in, instead of wasting my life in this hole caring way too much about some coloured pens and post it notes.

I had thought before of emailing you all day long about a million times but hadn't because it would make me look like a loon. Ah well.

Have you been watching Big Bro? Pete will win.

Tubgirl, if you don't know yet, is a girl kind of upside down in a bath spraying a fountain of brown liquid from her anal eye. Its seriously a FOUNTAIN OF BROWN. And ssooooo gross, alongside goatse, which I have never seen, which is of a man holding his arse open, but its supposed to be like really open, like enough to fit atleast a hand inside. But as I said, ive never seen it, as descriptions are vile enough and my mind is already scarred from Tubgirl. If you look either of them up on Wikipedia, there are detailed descriptions of these and other shock sites, but thankfully no pictures on them. Others I have heard of are Lemon Party, which sounds horrible enough, of old men going at it.

Well, now that I have written an essay for you, I might go and make a lovely cup of coffee, as we have run out at my house and I like its tasty flavour in preference to tea whilst at work.

Ive been designing some poster fold up flyer things, I will send you one when its done and dusted. If only I knew a cheap printer place.